This one almost goes without saying. “Literally” is quite literally the most bastardized word in the English language. It literally makes me vomit. You will literally grow a penis out of your face and die if you say it.
You see what’s going on here? The real meaning of “literally” has been destroyed. Sometimes, this is a wonderful thing. Words need to evolve and change as society evolves and changes. But the real meaning of “literally” is being pummeled by ignorami, who seek to turn it into a glorified “certainly”.
This word has been around a long time, too. It’s etymology has the same Latin root as “letter”, and its meaning — “taking words in their natural meaning” — has been the same for hundreds and hundreds of years. And now, in literally the time it takes for a fart to travel from your asshole to your face, it has been destroyed.
I wouldn’t be so bothered if there was another word to use in its place, but I haven’t been able to find one. When a word is both useful and unique, the destruction of its meaning can actually destroy the very idea it represents. With no literal meaning, words can mean whatever we want them to mean. The death of “literally” is literally the death of language, and by extension, the death of thought.
Damn you postmodernism! I am literally farting with anger!
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