I hate the word “kinky”. It makes me think of desperate married couples searching vainly for a way to “spice up” their sex life.
“What about these ‘vibrating nipple clamps’?”
“Ooh that’s kinky!”
“Yeah? Well we should get these then.”
“Oh wow they’re twenty dollars, though!”
“Jesus Dora, we’re trying to save our marriage here.”
“Well maybe if you got off the couch and went out to get a job like a real man we could afford to save our marriage!”
“Maybe if you could cook a fucking plate of eggs I’d have the energy!”
I consider myself differently-sexual. Suffice to say many people don’t understand, or in a few cases are surprised and offended by the acts I find arousing. But to me it’s not about being sexual in weird ways, it’s about being sexual in intense ways that require a huge psychological commitment from both parties. Fun as it is, in a sense it’s a very serious business, and if handled clumsily someone can get really emotionally hurt, if not physically. So to ascribe to that a word which sounds like it could be a Pokemon character feels degrading. It even rhymes with “Twinkie”. A word for alt sex shouldn’t be so close lyrically to a sugarshit storebought snack cake. I almost wish there wasn’t even a word for this. Sex is sex and there are many many many ways to be sexual.
But perhaps that’s the point. Maybe kinky is a word for people who are, in fact, anything but.
(Also see Poet talking about kink.)
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