I work days in a nice quiet office. One of the favorite expressions used in any meeting is “going forward”, because it makes you sound more business-y. If you’ve never heard this expression, get ready to shield your keyboard from the barfspray. “Going forward” is used to indicate action that is to be taken in the future, starting from the present moment. It is like saying “will”, as in “I will, she will, we will”, but with additional authority. It is completely redundant and accomplishes nothing except making dumb people think they’re being more dynamic and intelligent because they’re using more words in a single sentence.
So instead of saying
We would like you to sort your submissions by account number.
or
We would like you to sort your submissions by account number from now on.
they say
Going forward, we would like you to sort your submissions by account number.
or
We would like you to sort your submissions by account number going forward.
What makes it horrendously awful is not just its stupid redundancy, but also that it implies that we can also go backward in time. Of course, we can only ever go forward in time, so it makes the person saying this twice as stupid as they’ve ever been. Which is really freaking stupid!
Worst of all, this expression is contagious. It’s like “like” for adults, and I’ve heard it so many times that even I find myself saying it. When you see everyone else using it and having such a good time, you can’t help but try it a few times. Like crystal meth. And choir boy molestation.
The only way to kill “going forward” is to use it at inappropriate times so everyone realizes how idiotic it sounds. For example:
If you don’t shut your damn mouth going forward, I might have to shut it for you going forward!
I bought a used van last week. Going forward, it runs great, but going backward, it stalls. So, going forward, I plan to always test drive my vans both going forward and going backward. That way, going forward, I won’t have these problems going backward.
We had our second child together last month. The last kid turned out so badly that, going forward, we plan to beat the new kid a lot more.
Comments 6
This is great! I am listening to a conference call and I’ve tallied 30 “going forward”s in twenty minutes.
Whenever I hear it, I want to become homicidal. Only the fear of prison restrains my terrible swift sword.
Your non-business examples are the best explanation I’ve seen to illustrate how unnecessary, inappropriate, and stupid the phrase is.
Thank you!
Posted 11 Dec 2009 at 3:01 pm ¶I concur completely.
The offending bastardization of language seems to be the trend of the year. I work in media and can count its use in the twenties each day. Its seems people find it lends authority to the subject they are conveying when in fact, it speaks to their sheepish demeanor.
Glad others feel the same way!
Posted 11 Mar 2010 at 3:24 am ¶“Going forward” – as opposed to what? It’s a completely pointless expression which is spreading like the plague. If I’m ever infected by it, I’ll top myself, going forward.
Posted 01 Jul 2011 at 8:07 pm ¶Omg well done. I just nearly threw an aneurysm laughing at this. It is now 3 years after this post and this travesty is still going strong….
Posted 14 Mar 2012 at 1:10 am ¶This is classic. I just had an email and its like the numpty that sent it to me couldnt use this god darn awful phrase enough. Its completely inappropriate in its use in 90% of the instances.
Posted 31 Jul 2012 at 9:17 am ¶It makes me cringe!!
Also…”At the end of the day”…”At the end of the day”, “at the end of the day” I’m soooo tired of redundant pop phrases !!
Posted 09 Sep 2012 at 10:34 pm ¶Post a Comment